Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
