i just wanna soil my oats bro
false alarm. still invincible.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
