4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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