It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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