oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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