No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
