is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
