More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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