she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize