he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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