If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize