she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize