Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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