you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my being single is dangerous.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
