She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
