Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
