I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
