how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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