kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
