shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
