1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I accidentally had phone sex last night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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