Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
