Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
