Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
