He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I smell like Dick and happiness
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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