uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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