Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
