just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
