what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
