He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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