is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
