He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
