i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
