my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
