im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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