"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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