I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My life is pants optional.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
