bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize