then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize