dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
