Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
