I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
