my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
