I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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