That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
