david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
whose ass print is on the piano?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
