super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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