my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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