Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
