It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
