going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
