so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
