farters have to be the big spoon...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
