Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
