I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
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then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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